On Monday I introduced the concept of "show not tell". Here is a video clip to explain what it means.
After I explained the concept, I put three sentences on the board:
1- Colton was scared to go on the rollercoaster.
2- Journee couldn't believe all the gifts she found under the tree.
3- Celeste was very upset when she lost the game.
Students worked in groups to take these examples of "telling" and change them into examples of "showing". At the end of class we had a competition to see which group came up with the best revisions. Here is the best revision from all 4 classes (it's a revision of #3): "Celeste was in a ball, sucking her thumb, rocking back and forth saying, "airball, airball" over and over again. her face was warm and turning pink while hot tears streamed down her face." Wow! Great visual Skyler, Colton, Seth and Nia! *FYI - Celeste thought it was funny too, so she gave permission to keep her name.
Today we went to the Star Lab for our first revision of our personal narratives. Here was the assignment:
1-Highlight in blue 5 phrases/sentences of "telling".
2- In red, revise to "show" by adding dialogue, action and the 5 senses.
This was due at the end of class, but students can work on it at home and email the revisions to me. If you don't have a computer at home, they can print out a copy and hand write in the revisions to add next time we are in the Star Lab. I saw some great revisions today! Keep it up writers!
*Tomorrow we will learn about writing strong characters, and then Thursday we will use what we learn to make the characters in our personal narrative come alive. Finally, Friday we will finish up and submit our final drafts. Thursday night, I am going to have students take the story home to get a review or advice from a parent or sibling.
1- Colton was scared to go on the rollercoaster.
2- Journee couldn't believe all the gifts she found under the tree.
3- Celeste was very upset when she lost the game.
Students worked in groups to take these examples of "telling" and change them into examples of "showing". At the end of class we had a competition to see which group came up with the best revisions. Here is the best revision from all 4 classes (it's a revision of #3): "Celeste was in a ball, sucking her thumb, rocking back and forth saying, "airball, airball" over and over again. her face was warm and turning pink while hot tears streamed down her face." Wow! Great visual Skyler, Colton, Seth and Nia! *FYI - Celeste thought it was funny too, so she gave permission to keep her name.
Today we went to the Star Lab for our first revision of our personal narratives. Here was the assignment:
1-Highlight in blue 5 phrases/sentences of "telling".
2- In red, revise to "show" by adding dialogue, action and the 5 senses.
This was due at the end of class, but students can work on it at home and email the revisions to me. If you don't have a computer at home, they can print out a copy and hand write in the revisions to add next time we are in the Star Lab. I saw some great revisions today! Keep it up writers!
*Tomorrow we will learn about writing strong characters, and then Thursday we will use what we learn to make the characters in our personal narrative come alive. Finally, Friday we will finish up and submit our final drafts. Thursday night, I am going to have students take the story home to get a review or advice from a parent or sibling.